Dear Confidential Friend,

I know not how or to what end you have come to be reading my words, but it is among my philosophies that there is no coincidence. In submitting each entry, I have had a grand knowing that it would find its own way to those receptive souls who revel in this brand of non-sensory (nonsense-ory) perception, or as Poe once criticized “obscurity for obscurity’s sake and mysticism for mysticism’s sake”. I have collected data that would suggest that growing numbers of curious persons on every corner of the globe are regularly indulging in this periodical, and to me it is a thrilling prospect! It has confirmed my suspicions that I am a man uncommonly witty and wise. I extend my sincerest appreciation to my loyal readers and my warmest welcome to all of you who are just arriving. May you never take me (or life) seriously!

With Gratitude,
Mr. J.S. Hazelwood